What the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard Trial Can Tell Us About Toxic Relationships
There still exists a double standard when it comes to spousal abuse
The MeToo movement was a watershed moment several years ago. It helped to expose the horror of the entertainment industry and helped to bring down monsters such as Harvey Weinstein. We as a culture have begun to call out the horrible behavior of some people who thought they were too powerful to be touched.
However, despite all the good done and allowing women to speak up about abuse by being in power, there have been those who have used the movement to harm. False allegations are not uncommon and sadly can discourage some women from speaking out.
We as a society are trained to take a woman’s word when she accuses her partner of abuse, and often we should. However, we rarely take the same stance when a man is abused by his partner. And sadly, some women make accusations to get some sort of revenge or pay back a partner.
This situation has been illustrated on television and online over the last week. Actors Johnny Depp and Amber Heard had a brief marriage, which ended with accusations by Heard of abuse. She claimed Depp was an abusive drug addict and wrote an op-ed detailing such behavior.
As a result, Depp lost several acting roles. He filed suit for defamation in a Virginia court, and we have been privy to the details of their toxic relationship. What is becoming clear is that Depp appears to be the victim of a manipulative woman who took advantage of a man struggling with addiction.
Doubt began to creep up when several of Depp’s former partners rushed to his defense. While he has well-documented struggles with drugs and alcohol, he has never been known to be abusive. So what would have triggered such behavior, if true?
Video and audio recordings presented in court outline the years of gaslighting and verbal and physical abuse that Heard subjected him to. If you haven’t had a chance yet, you should look at the Youtube highlights of Depp’s examination by Heard’s attorney.
Some highlights of the trial include:
- Ms. Heard recording Depp passed out, with staged drugs and alcohol bottles around him
- Heard slicing off the tip of Depp’s finger during an argument
- Heard defecating on Depp’s side of the bed
- Heard telling Depp repeatedly that no one would believe him if he reported the abuse
It should be noted that when Depp suffered his injury to his finger, the police asked him what happened. He covered for his abuser instead of letting her be arrested. It is a sad pattern that many abuse victims find themselves in, manipulated by their abuser that they will either not be believed or need their abuser.
If anything, the trial will hopefully shed light on how men can be victims of spousal abuse. We as a society still believe that men cannot be victims of abuse from their female partners. It is seen as weak or unmanly. So, many men stay silent to avoid ridicule.
The results of this trial are still to be determined at the time of this writing. I don’t want to make Amber Heard seem like a pure villain. Somewhere in her past, she had some trauma, at least that seems. Sometimes victims become abusers themselves. And Depp saw a damaged person who he wanted to fix. Sadly, they fell into a toxic relationship that did neither good.
Hopefully, some good will come out of this trial. Maybe both of them will be able to salvage their damaged careers and find happiness in their personal lives. Perhaps this will show that we should take some accusations with a grain of salt (not saying we should not believe people who accuse someone but not condemn the accused without proof).
The most important takeaway from this is that men can be victims too. Perhaps this will lead to a similar cultural shift, and men will not be afraid to call out their abusers.